On My Way, For The Day

I, I think I might have loved you, and these thigns I might have said.... But you were a million miles away.... A Million Miles Away...

---


I went to another party last night, this time my parents knew, and they knew i was drinking, and my mum picked me and Sarah up at Brittenys house at quater to 12 (midnight) When she said 11:30, she was late, but thats ok, so were we.

Sarah wasn't running around "my mums going to kill me!" i didnt fight with anyone, although my ex, did chase Damon around the fire with a smoldering log, and im talking a big log.

Chelsea and Jer were there, and it was great, although they were off solving peoples drama. Shit man, at these parties, someones always fighting. theres always drama and stuff. this one was the worst.

Britteny cried, Sarah and wesley cried, they almost broke up, Britteny cried more. Britteny for diffrent reasons that im not obliged to say and stuff. But I don't know.

But i only hope that today everything is better, because man, save all the fighting, I had fun.

This time i didn't make out with anyone. And the kid i like wasn't there this time. Thats ok though, I think i might go out there and maybe get someone to hang out with him, so that uh, I can chill with him, 'cause he's a cool kid.

I'm so happy. ^.^

And moving into this small town, seemed like i was running off on an old dirt road, instead of the path i had been taking back in my home town.
And then i realised, This dirt road isn't ending, it might be old, it might need some trimming but along the way, Im paving my future, and in fighting, and in joy, I have friends and they're there to help me along this old road.
And all i can hope, is I don't give in, and I keep on going, because Thats all anyone can do. Thats all we can do, just keep going.
Through the good and the bad, the wind, hail, sleet or snow, I will carry on, and nothing will stop me.
No matter how bloody the battle, No matter how many wounds I carry, No matter the number of opponents I will face, alone or with friends, I will make it along this dirt road, through every battle field, throught the pain and the fighting, through the joy and the happiness.
Because Im to stubborn to live in a bubble, and Im to stubborn to give up, so Im going to keep going, and Im taking my friends along with me, even if i have to waste my energy to carry them untill they can walk...
Because I know they'd do it for me.

-Samantha.

My Four reasons for living:

1. I Refuse to let those who have hurt me win.
2. I Refuse to let even my own bad thoughts get the best of me.
3. I refuse to set a bad example to my younger family and to my friends.
4. I Am Me.

And I'm Flying Down An Old Dirt Road

I don't know, random country song. I told you, i love music.

--

So anyways im just posting, because I promised i'd write ever day, nothing much happened today, my socials buddy was sick, and her boyfriend is in mine and hers French class, so i gave him my planning ten questionaire to fill out about me, and one of the questions was "What was your first opinion of me?" and his answer was "Lookin' good." And then he like elbowed me and stuff at the end of class when we were standing around the door. Haha, he's cool.

God, i love this new town, except the drama with my ex, the fucker.

Oh well, whats it matter, me and Nathan are running away to mexico to have a story book romance. -grin-

I miss my home town, and i miss my close friends, and all that, but i have really good close friends here. and there is only like TWO WEEKS untill SPRING BREAK. and Jamie is probably coming down for a couple days in spring break, and I'll be so happy! God, i miss him so much he's my bestest friend in the whole wide world! Hes' the only guy i trust with my life, besides my brother. but Im done being a blathering idiot for now, so peace.

-Shmee.

Good-Night To An Old Flame

I went to a party last night, and my ex was there. He says he loves me, but We barely knew/know eachother and we only went out for three weeks.
Well, at this party, we were all a little wee tad-bit shitfaced, heh, and Tyler kissed me, so i kissed him back.
We were just sitting there on the sand hills, looking and talking about how pretty the stars were, and then he kissed me, and i kissed him back, and we had a bit of a make-out session, and then my ex, stumbled over all "no...NO NO no!" and i mean, me and my ex broke up over a week ago. Me and tyler were all like "uh... hey man."

and then my ex had the nerve to say that he'd fucked me twice and that i was a dirty slut.

When i never fucked him at all. Everyone was like "Dude, calm down, back off Sams cool, just leave her alone eh?" and Tyler apparently wanted to punch him out pretty bad. I don't care, it was a fun night, it was awesome, and i got kissed.

I feel kind of like a slut, because chances are I'll go out next weekend get shit-faced and make-out with a different person. But 'eh, that the perks of being single, and when i get to know a guy really well, like trust him like a best friend, maybe I'll consider getting a boyfriend. But eh, my legs are crossed, and im no dirty slut, I just like to be kissed. Is that a problem?

God, im a bit of a drunken idiot at times, but 'eh, Me and my ex have been over for a week or more and i dont think it matters if i made out with another guy, he made out with another chick and i didn't freak out, haha, i thought it was kind of funny, seeing how she ran back all "OMG OMG OMG, ____ just tried to make a move on me, and he made out with me and Ewwwww" hahaha, I don't know how i lasted in a relationship with him for 3 weeks... He has learning disabilities and is rather idiot-ish alot of the time, and not that compitent at times and i like a bit of compitance in a relationship.

It just wasn't there.

But ugh, next weekend holds new party adventures and new stories to be rememinded of and told.

-Samantha

(P.S; SPRING BREAK IN TWO WEEKS.)